Skipping Traditions

Ways To Replace Wedding Traditions.

Sometimes the stressful parts of wedding planning stem from dated traditions that just don’t really work for everyone anymore. For those who are starting to plan, or are even right in the midst of planning, you’ve probably stumbled upon at least a few things that you aren’t sure how to execute on your wedding day.

If you’re following along a wedding planning timeline or checklist it’s going to cater to a cookie cutter wedding. So if you want your wedding to be different and unique, you’ll need to speak up about what you want, what you don’t want, and what you plan on doing instead of some of the more expected concepts.

With the right future-spouse, the right wedding planner, and a few supportive friends and family members, you’ll end up with a wedding that really suits you and fulfills all of your wildest wedding wishes – even if it strays from wedding traditions.

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Here are a just a few of the more typical wedding traditions that brides and grooms have struggled with, along with a few ways to do them differently.

Down the Aisle with Dad. Not always a fun thing for brides when they don’t have a dad, they have two, or they have a strained relationship. There’s no reason that you have to have only one person do it, so having two escorts is perfectly fine. If you only want one person to do it, chances are you already know deep down who you want that person to be, so go with your gut. If you’re really torn, go by yourself and give yourself to your future husband or wife.

First Dance. This one is super expected, but if there’s something holding you back from wanting a first dance, just skip it and go straight to dinner after the bridal party intros. Have your DJ start the dancing portion of the evening with a slow song, but have them ask everyone to join you on the dance floor for it so that it’s less of a spectacle.

Special Dances. Whether it’s the mother-son or father-daughter, sometimes they just don’t work with your family dynamic. Nix them (most people won’t notice) or try them in a group setting so there’s less of an audience.   Try a family dance, where you start as a couple, then mom and dad cut in, then your partners mom and dad, and then so on and so forth until the entire family/bridal party is up and dancing. Talk to your DJ, they’ve probably seen them done in a variety of ways.

Wearing White. A big white dress just isn’t for everybody. If you don’t want to wear one, don’t. Look at colorful gowns, short dresses, or even something totally unique like a suit or a themed outfit. Whatever fits you and your wedding goes. This really is the one day when you can wear whatever you want, so you might as well do it your way.

Toasts. Because not everyone should be given a microphone. Honestly though, don’t let this one stress you out. If you don’t want speeches (for whatever reason) then just pick one person (the groom, the father of the bride) to say a quick thank you for coming and cheers to the new couple. The most appropriate thing to do is let the person who is paying and therefore the host of the wedding say a welcome toast. Past that, don’t feel obligated to have speeches from both the MOH and Best Man, especially if you have more than one of each (or if they just aren’t comfortable with the whole public speaking thing).

Bridal Parties. Speaking of bridal parties, it’s so much more than okay to put your own spin on your bridal party, or, gasp! …not have one. However you want to compile your bridal party is perfectly fine, so make sure you don’t pick people just to fill a roster. More on that here…

I hope after reading this you feel more confident in paving your own wedding path. Usually the biggest hang up couples face with wanting to do things their own way is how to do so without hurting people’s feelings.   It might mean you’ll have to have a few uncomfortable face to face convos with people who were expecting something different for your wedding, but once you’ve told them how it’s going to be, it’s done.

You only get one wedding, so you need to make sure you do it the way that you want. Be nice, but be firm, and let your wedding coordinator help run interference with any outside opinions. Do you, and be a happy bride!

Love, Mrs. Newman