Because Sometimes Traditional Bridal Parties Just Won’t Work For You.
So you’re stressing about your bridal party. I get it. It’s actually one of the hardest parts of planning your wedding… picking your squad, trying to make it even out with your partner’s picks, and of course, considering everyone else’s feelings (the worst).
But honestly, if this is causing you stress, take a step back and think about all of your options. There are no rules to planning a wedding (I’m not like those other wedding planners, I’m a cool wedding planner…) so you should totally think about going rogue with this.
You so don’t have to have a matchy-matchy picture perfect bridal party. If your group of people isn’t a gaggle of 5-7 girls, cool. Who gives a eff? It’s better to go the “nontraditional” route and have the people who matter the most to you up by your side.
So let’s throw around some ideas. You’re probably pretty awesome, even if you don’t have a compilation of stereotypical girlfriends, so I imagine you have at least 2 or 3 people who mean a lot to you. Maybe it’s your brothers, or your mom, or dad or even a grandparent. Do you have some special youngins in your life? Give them the honor of junior bridesmaid – I promise they’ll be ecstatic. Whoever your people are, ask them to stand by you.
You can literally have anyone next to you while you say your vows, so get rid of the notion that you must have that picturesque group of girls and guys.
Even if you do have a nice little group of girls you want to ask, but your partner has way more or way less, just work with it. The processional takes approximately two minutes, maybe. So if not everyone has an escort, or someone has to double up, no one will care. At all.
You shouldn’t ask people to be in your wedding just so that you get an even-numbered bridal party. You’ll end up with people that aren’t super close with you in all of your wedding photos. Even worse, if you go with your b-list you’ll end up with people participating in all of your majorly important wedding events that don’t necessarily care as much as they should. Uh, no thanks.
Your bridal party should be people who would do anything to make your engagement and wedding absolutely per-fect. Whenever people ask me my opinion on whether or not they should ask someone to be in their wedding, I always ask them if they can imagine that person’s face on their mantle in fifty years. And if you’re not sure about the longevity of your friendship, maybe you pass. So maybe that means you just stick with your family. Family will always be family, no matter how the relationship ebbs and flows.
If you’re hearing what I’m saying, but still feeling like you need to figure out a way to have a logistically convenient, cookie-cutter bridal party, think about one more thing for me.
Look through photos of modern weddings. Spend a little bit of time looking at same-sex weddings, uneven bridal parties, man of honors, or female groomsmen pictures. You’ll quickly see how common it is to go your own way, and cater your bridal party to what your real-life group of friends and family is actually like.
The best part about this is that there are like a million ways to execute unique wedding ideas. Want a bridesman? Have his tux match the dresses, or dress him in lighter colors. Have a girl who just doesn’t do dresses, or is going to be a groomswoman? Put her in a suit too. She can still stand by your side even if it’s not in a bridesmaid gown, or she can totally rock a women’s wear suit with all the other groomsmen.
I’m hoping at this point you’re feeling pretty confident about doing whatever the hell you want when it comes to your bridal party. And if it’s the logistics that are bothering you more than appearances, let that pressure go too.
You don’t need to conform to a cookie-cutter wedding with very traditional practices. Having trouble deciding which girl, or guy, will be your MOH? Don’t have one. Who cares if the only speech is from the best man! Or just nix the speeches altogether if it’s bugging you. Give one yourself, or have whoever is throwing (read: paying) give the toast. Maybe you have a grandparent give one. Do you, boo. It’ll be fine regardless.
Whatever you and your fiancé decide to do will be just fine. You’re never going to regret having the people who matter the most to you by your side on your wedding day. Even if it’s not a traditional pick, it’ll be much more special to go with your real life besties, no matter their gender, age or relation to you. If your main concern is styling an untraditional wedding party, I got you. Just let me know, and we can make it work.
Love, Mrs. Newman